The Crone is a woman who no longer menstruates physically, she fully embodies Wise Woman. With many moons behind her and the experience she has acquired, she can now turn her attention to being an inspiration for her sisters.
No longer worried about pregnancy, pretense or how she is perceived by society , her family and her peers , she can come to a serene place of acceptance dancing with the rhythm of life. Her hormones still dance with the moon cycles but their manifestation is a of a more subtle nature, inward. She is now mastering self care and might only regret not having practice it earlier. So she dedicates her life sharing what she has learned. Here are the self care steps I have taken after a particularly intense work month, my goal is to nurture myself, cuddle and love myself to stay HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT.
Family - A month ago I went to see my son's show downtown called In Action. it filled my heart with so much pride for this young man, who has created an amazing event that is art, political action, social gathering, live poetry and music, dancing street mobs, grassroots activism. I often will meet my daughter for lunch or breakfast and we talk and laugh and love each other. Quality time with my family nourishes me.
Touch - I had one and now going to my second massage. The first one was n encounter with the masculine, a God. The second one is with a goddess who has learned her craft at Esalen in Northern California. We must be touched, sometimes just because we happen to be single we do not make time for others to touch us. But starting with massaging that nurturing cream into your body after every shower, to hiring an expert to massage your body touch is imperative. (In the US there are plenty of places you can get a massage for as little as $30, but through sisterhood you can exchange services and have your sister give you a massage.
Nutrition - I have been very careful with my food but self-care is not juicing for me cleansing or any type of "suffering". Though I strongly believe it is good for us to fast once in awhile, self-care after a particularly difficult time is about nurturing not its opposite. So I have been mostly vegetarian, and really carefully choosing food that I really really love. The years I have spent, help me discern which food is the" cleanest one" but it's still juicy and familiar. When the blues hit, we often go quickly into what we have called comfort food, for some of us can be mash potatoes, for others is sweets, candy etc. But comfort food should be one that makes you feel good and nurture you not send you into a guilty tale spin.
Mind - My mind has been engaged with amazing preparations for the workshops ahead, wonderful phone calls from the women that are helping me produce in Italy, Greece, Norway. Female power has mulched and irrigated my mind all my life. I cherish my tribe here at home and from afar. I engage in wonderful conversations with the men I frequent, I love politics, religion and current affair discussions. I love listening to NPR and watching movies and documentaries that stimulate my thinking. I am an avid reader. I also sit and journal for 1 hour in the morning to keep the conversations with myself going.
Sisterhood - At times I join a new/full moon ceremony led by one of my amazing clients, I witness this goddess give birth twice at home . So precious . I'm preform closing of the bones ceremonies with my clients and teach advance doula techniques to my Foundation volunteers, staying in the sacred with my sisters regenerates me. I am so blessed.
My heart chakra. One of the intentions of my life right now, is to share intimate companionship. So I say my prayer every morning and light a candle and and open my heart. I joined dating services and date, as much as possible . I do not give up no matter what. Happy no matter what is the call to action I live by in this department.
Water - I take warm baths everyday, been in California sometimes I feel guilty, LOL, as it seems I am using a lot of water. However, these days of recuperation, sometimes i take two baths a day. I use Epsom salt and essential oils depending on the need of the moment. For example, I used Bergamot oil in my bath, it reminds me of the Earl Grey tea my father would bring back from England. We would drink a cup together with milk and sugar. I find Bergamot oil soothes tension and the memory cuddles me in the warm water.
Aromatherapy - I've been using Vetiver oil, mixed with almond oil, either as my deodorant or my body cream. I am also, using an amazing cream for my face, it really helps hydrating everyday. Work does a number on your face. I Infuse Basil, Orange, and Fennel...where do I begin to tell you the advantages of those oils. I use oils for everything, from sleeping, to energy, from digestion to safeguard, from intimacy care, to fragrance. Come to my workshops to learn more.
Supplements - I use a lot of supplements and I strongly believe in them especially if they are very high quality, but when I work really hard, sometimes I forget to take them, and it takes 2 or 3 days to recoup. it's a long list for another time. Forgiving myself for not doing it perfectly is key to my thriving.
Work - I have learned when to say no, which after buying my house is really hard. Learning to trust the Universe,, and believing, truly believing it is the Goddess good pleasure to take care of me is a leap of faith not for the fainthearted.
Exercise - The last 3 days have being very difficult to actually deal with exercise. Though the two beautiful souls that live with me, my dogs Nina and Nino, my stay home kids, push me to do these amazing walks at the beach or around my neighborhood. With this one I have to be careful not to beat myself over the head. Walking right now it's good enough, as I need sleep. And I dance, i love turning the music in my home and get down, or listening to my play list as a walk and boogie. I am not a gym person, nor a room with a bunch of other people-doing-the-same-thing person. I go out in nature as often as I can.
Sleep - I love sleep, I put it in as often and as much as possible. In my line of work often all nighter are the norm, so learning how to sleep, when to sleep and when to say no and opt for sleep is very important. I have rediscovered the beauty of naps, I will never let that beautiful habit go. I also created a 10 minute hypnosis tape and I can get myself deep and well rested any where I am in 10 mn.
Sex - Needless to say often crones are not seeing as sexual beings, well heck with that! If you have a companion please rekindle your sexual life if it has dwindled, if you are single never forget to "love yourself" often and gently, but don't stop trying to find a partner that can fulfill your needs, after all one thing we will never be able to do is tickle ourselves....
Art - I was born an artist and lately I have not been able to express it or write towards a book for quite a while. However, I cannot bottle up my creativity so i express it by building something in my house, cleaning, rearranging things, going through my possessions removing the old keeping only what I absolutely needed and what I have used in the last year.
Prayer and Meditation - So I chose to put this at the bottom because not all of us pray or meditate, however for me this is on top of my list for my sanity. I meditate every day, twice a day if I can, 5 minutes if I am flying out the door. I also pray, I consider praying asking God and meditating listening to God. Whatever bring you closer to the miraculous allows me to see the infinite possibilities.
Giuditta Tornetta is a bestselling author (Painless Childbirth), doula, clinical hypnotherapist, CEO and founder of JoyInBirthing.com and the JoyInBirthingFoundation.org (a volunteer doula organization.) Giuditta has authored and has been interviewed in hundreds of magazines articles worldwide She teaches women around the world how to activate their womb power and manifest the life they desire.